After recieving the feedback I sat down to apply it to the film. Unfortunately without having actual files for Father, Son and Horse animated scenes I could only work around them to make them feel a little bit more dynamic.
Few simple assets had been added to the scenes consisting of the Father character. I think they make it all more dynamic already. Few minor tweaks have been added throughout the film to improve the overall flow of the story.
Below is a comparison video of the previously submitted version and the newest one.
As always, any feedback is much appreciated.
Hey Sam
ReplyDeleteYes - those additional elements in the father scenes are already working very nicely! I just think it would be even better if you painted some rim lights onto those silhouettes - the suggestion of moonlight just lifting the shapes a bit so they register a little more as tree trunks - any maybe just some silvered leaf silhouettes too - just try it - they won't register as 'LEAVES!' - think about them as the foliage on the lowest branches of trees and the leaves of shrubs etc. It's all about 'just enough' and I don't think you're there yet, but the father scenes are already being transformed - and I love how you're using the 'wipes' to move us from one scene to the next in these moments - really working nicely, so well done.
Okay - I think you can cut sooner after 'go with me' - we're left looking at the boy looking up and out of the scene for a few beats too long; there's a sense of 'empty set' about this final few frames - try cutting @ 41 secs.
When you cut to the 'flower bed' - you cut when the camera is motionless; if you cut from the Erl-King to the point at which the camera is already moving more obviously, these two scenes will flow more happily.
"Do Come My Darling" - I think if we hear the Erl-King before we see him, the flow between the scene with boy and then the scene with the Erl-King will feel less jolted; so, if we were to hear the Erl-King say "Do...' at around 1min 15secs - just before we see him - I think this will keep things speeding along nicely.
"My Son, My son no one is in your way" - the transition from the father to the parting of the fog (grey willows) feels a bit abrupt; can I suggest you use a wipe cut here, so imagine that the tree that moves across the father on the horse continues across the opening few frames of the 'grey willows' itself - as if the view of the willows is revealed by the same passing tree - it doesn't make sense spatially, but I think it might work filmically - maybe experiment a bit, as I could be imagining it wrong, but there's certainly a way to improve the transition between these two scenes.
There's still something not quite right about the transitioning from the close-up of the Erl-King's face and the blackness - everything seems to stop here? Hmmmm *Phil is still thinking...*
The last scene of the father riding also needs some of that strobing added drama technique - it really stands out now as more static than the others :)