Hey Sam - another very effective set of changes - and the woodland/father scenes are really 'cooking on gas' now that you've enriched the parallax effect :). Now, I have a couple of suggested trims - just in terms of exiting and entering scenes to keep things quick and silky;
1) try cutting @ 9secs - just after the horse has left the frame; we're left looking at an empty scene at the moment, waiting for the next shot to start. It's only a few frames, but I think it will help up the pace and urgency and relationship between the horse leaving the first scene, and entering the next.
2) "My Son, why are you hiding your face?" Right now, these scene feels like it should end earlier - @25secs - it feels like we have to wait for the 'Oh father' line and the start of the new scene. It might also be effective if you start the 'Oh Father' line a few frames before we see the forest - as expressed before, starting the dialogue from the next scene at the end of the last scene is another tried and tested means of making hard edits blend. So, for me, this a combination of cutting sooner and just pulling the beginning of the dialogue back a few frames so it begins while we're still looking down at the son. I know this might create some problems in terms of timing to the music, but I'm sure you can figure it out - we're only talking the smallest of trims - but I think you want to take out the 'waiting' moments.
There's something not quite right about the relationship of shots in the daughter's scene - or rather, I think it could be enriched in terms of visual rhythm. I can't quite articulate it exactly, so I'm going to have a quick fiddle with the file you sent me in Premiere, and if I can create a useful alternate edit, I'll send it to you over the weekend :)
I can cut the beginning (suggestion 1), but I don't have access to sound as it's been already rendered out as a whole track and PG has it.. I will try to contact her and see what can be done.
Unofrtunately I don't have these files in Premiere... I worked on it all in After Effects. I could give them to you on Monday if you are going to be around uni? Sorry :(
Again though, thank you for the feedback and I am glad that all the changes are enriching the film!
Hey Sam - I sent the edited daughters scene to your gmail; I reckon you'll be able to flip the suggested scenes in After Effects, right?
Another question: are you able to add any further parallaxing elements to the up-shot of the father on horseback at around 12/13 secs? If you look past his head, you can indeed see suggestions of the forest canopy moving above him at speed, but as these elements are tonally dark, they don't quite help create the impression of speed as well as they might; are you able to add in some 'chinks of moonlight' above him, or more silvered elements moving quickly to help create a more dynamic effect?
Hey Sam - another very effective set of changes - and the woodland/father scenes are really 'cooking on gas' now that you've enriched the parallax effect :). Now, I have a couple of suggested trims - just in terms of exiting and entering scenes to keep things quick and silky;
ReplyDelete1) try cutting @ 9secs - just after the horse has left the frame; we're left looking at an empty scene at the moment, waiting for the next shot to start. It's only a few frames, but I think it will help up the pace and urgency and relationship between the horse leaving the first scene, and entering the next.
2) "My Son, why are you hiding your face?" Right now, these scene feels like it should end earlier - @25secs - it feels like we have to wait for the 'Oh father' line and the start of the new scene. It might also be effective if you start the 'Oh Father' line a few frames before we see the forest - as expressed before, starting the dialogue from the next scene at the end of the last scene is another tried and tested means of making hard edits blend. So, for me, this a combination of cutting sooner and just pulling the beginning of the dialogue back a few frames so it begins while we're still looking down at the son. I know this might create some problems in terms of timing to the music, but I'm sure you can figure it out - we're only talking the smallest of trims - but I think you want to take out the 'waiting' moments.
There's something not quite right about the relationship of shots in the daughter's scene - or rather, I think it could be enriched in terms of visual rhythm. I can't quite articulate it exactly, so I'm going to have a quick fiddle with the file you sent me in Premiere, and if I can create a useful alternate edit, I'll send it to you over the weekend :)
Hi Phil,
Deletethank you for the feedback!
I can cut the beginning (suggestion 1), but I don't have access to sound as it's been already rendered out as a whole track and PG has it.. I will try to contact her and see what can be done.
Unofrtunately I don't have these files in Premiere... I worked on it all in After Effects. I could give them to you on Monday if you are going to be around uni? Sorry :(
Again though, thank you for the feedback and I am glad that all the changes are enriching the film!
Hey Sam - I sent the edited daughters scene to your gmail; I reckon you'll be able to flip the suggested scenes in After Effects, right?
ReplyDeleteAnother question: are you able to add any further parallaxing elements to the up-shot of the father on horseback at around 12/13 secs? If you look past his head, you can indeed see suggestions of the forest canopy moving above him at speed, but as these elements are tonally dark, they don't quite help create the impression of speed as well as they might; are you able to add in some 'chinks of moonlight' above him, or more silvered elements moving quickly to help create a more dynamic effect?