tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8090462772818946012.post5040903343121761062..comments2023-07-16T10:56:50.648+02:00Comments on Samantha Niemczyk: New Designers: The Erlking ver.2Samanthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03453618366954658286noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8090462772818946012.post-23942808326354327002015-06-17T18:55:50.589+02:002015-06-17T18:55:50.589+02:00Hey Sam
Yes - those additional elements in the fa...Hey Sam<br /><br />Yes - those additional elements in the father scenes are already working very nicely! I just think it would be even better if you painted some rim lights onto those silhouettes - the suggestion of moonlight just lifting the shapes a bit so they register a little more as tree trunks - any maybe just some silvered leaf silhouettes too - just try it - they won't register as 'LEAVES!' - think about them as the foliage on the lowest branches of trees and the leaves of shrubs etc. It's all about 'just enough' and I don't think you're there yet, but the father scenes are already being transformed - and I love how you're using the 'wipes' to move us from one scene to the next in these moments - really working nicely, so well done.<br /><br />Okay - I think you can cut sooner after 'go with me' - we're left looking at the boy looking up and out of the scene for a few beats too long; there's a sense of 'empty set' about this final few frames - try cutting @ 41 secs.<br /><br />When you cut to the 'flower bed' - you cut when the camera is motionless; if you cut from the Erl-King to the point at which the camera is already moving more obviously, these two scenes will flow more happily.<br /><br />"Do Come My Darling" - I think if we hear the Erl-King before we see him, the flow between the scene with boy and then the scene with the Erl-King will feel less jolted; so, if we were to hear the Erl-King say "Do...' at around 1min 15secs - just before we see him - I think this will keep things speeding along nicely. <br /><br />"My Son, My son no one is in your way" - the transition from the father to the parting of the fog (grey willows) feels a bit abrupt; can I suggest you use a wipe cut here, so imagine that the tree that moves across the father on the horse continues across the opening few frames of the 'grey willows' itself - as if the view of the willows is revealed by the same passing tree - it doesn't make sense spatially, but I think it might work filmically - maybe experiment a bit, as I could be imagining it wrong, but there's certainly a way to improve the transition between these two scenes.<br /><br />There's still something not quite right about the transitioning from the close-up of the Erl-King's face and the blackness - everything seems to stop here? Hmmmm *Phil is still thinking...*<br /><br />The last scene of the father riding also needs some of that strobing added drama technique - it really stands out now as more static than the others :)tutorphilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11842833126210822641noreply@blogger.com